A Girl’s Hopes for Women's Day

I’m tired of the tropes.

I’m tired of the stereotypes.

I’m tired of being put in a box I can never escape.

I hope we will learn to identify the stereotypes created for us to puppet to: At one point women were ‘too delicate’ and ‘precious’ [Insert the allegory of the Virgin Mary here] to go out and discover the world. In fact, woman was elevated so high she was useless. She remained locked away at home, a bedwarmer to the ‘conqueror’ man. 

Then another stereotype developed, the sexy vixen, who isn’t afraid to bare all her juicy goodies and indulge in her deeply sexual self. But the sexy vixen should not hope to be married. She’s too cheap for that holy institution [Insert: double standards]. 

Then there’s the ‘good girl’ who is definitely a virgin till marriage. Doesn’t go out, doesn’t drink, or dance or have opinions or have a life. She will definitely be the pick for the ‘highest honour’ of marriage. She is man’s ideal of the ‘perfect woman for marriage’. But, of course, she is the last choice for business conducted outside of marriage. 

And we have the ‘cool girl’ who is every man’s dream. Who is the cool girl? The cool girl is just the right amounts of sexy vixen and good girl. She’s a vixen under the sheets, but ‘good’ on the outside. She’s tailored to meet her man’s every need. She never complains when her humanity is being trampled upon or when she’s being disrespected, ’cuz she’s the cool girl!

I hope a day will come when women are released from the prison of the patriarchal system; when we ourselves no longer propagate woman stereotypes handed to us by a patriarchal system. I hope we just be ourselves, even if it’s a little mix of good, wild, crazy, sexy, moody, frustrated or  staying-in-my-peejays-all-day-today.

I hope today women learn to understand more about themselves and their history and their CENTRE in that history. 

I hope armed with that knowledge we will begin to understand that certain conditions we live in today are not to be taken as your inevitable burden: being touched sexually at work, being reduced to just your sexual organ, being generally viewed as of much less worth than men and being paid less because of that, your menstrual cycle being used as an excuse to reduce your worth and capability, that your being married is a rite of passage into domestic slavery, despite your various laurels and career advancements. You don’t need that shit. 

I hope parents today would unlearn their inherited faulty notions of gender roles. I hope when you tell your daughter to sweep, you tell your son to sweep as well. When you keep Ama in to learn how to cook, it is not to learn to cook for a husband in some distant future; it is to teach her for her own good, to learn cook for herself when she becomes independent. I also hope you keep Kofi in to teach him to cook too.  After all, it is essential to his survival to know how to feed himself, basic law of nature. Even the beasts of the wild know that. 

It's as important for a boy to learn to cook as it is for a girl

I hope marriage becomes no longer about an escape from the policing of your parents to the policing of your husband. Same prison. 

Mother and wife may not be my ultimate calling as a woman. And that’s not a big deal. I’m not a freak of nature. I’m actually a human being just like you who has a mind that thinks of not just my womb, but the world and my contribution to it, about the universe and where humanity begins and ends, about political and economical systems and which might work for my country. I think, and I’m capable of so much more than just my womb.

But sometimes, my calling may be to being a mother and wife. And it’s as simple as that. We’re all different yet equally important fingers of the same hand. But it doesn’t mean because it’s my calling, it’s the calling for every woman.  Just because my brother likes skip on one foot doesn’t mean I conclude that every man likes to skip on one foot. 

When I marry you, I come to you as your WIFE, not your domestic slave to take up where was left off, to clean up and cook after you and mind our kids. Even if I love to clean, rub and dust, we’re sharing our lives and home together. It is a partnership, and all our now shared human needs and tiny ittie bitties become a shared responsibility. Especially when I have a 9-to-5 just like you do.

I hope to God we stop the slut-shaming and finger-pointing. I’m tired of the double standards. I’m tired of men being allowed to cheat blatantly on their women, because ‘it’s how men are’ yet women are punished severely for daring to breach their ‘designated boundary’. 

I hope fervently that we come to learn that if I’m in a short skirt, it is not an excuse for you to help me strip my body bare and expose my parts. There’s a reason I left some of it covered. Hell, if I wanted to walk out totally naked, I wouldn’t need your help.  Erase that barbaric, savage mentality.  There’s a reason why you’re not in some forest, scratching your armpits and flitting from tree to tree.  Don’t reduce your humanity and in the process insult mine.

When a woman is raped, questions like “Why was she dressed like that in the first place?” “Why did she go over to his house in the first place?” “Why was she there at that time?” are expressions of shameful ignorance. What you imply by making such illegitimate enquiries is to suggest that men who rape are animals and not human beings, incapable of control, lacking of a brain, so deserve to be put on a dog leash, kept in a cage and fed twice a day on a metal plate. 

I’m tired of women fighting against themselves, backbiting, obstructing and affecting the progress of any other woman (or man for that matter). The idea that ‘women are their own enemies’ is a clever way of turning us against ourselves, because you know what happens when there is infighting amongst women? The dream we’re fighting for remains an illusion. What is the dream? To be put back in our place as human beings of equal worth. That destructive idea is another of those patriarchal lies sown deep into our membranes to hinder our progress.

I’m tired of the “Oh dear Mr. Man, please decide for me what path my life is to take!” You’re a being of incredible power. You can literally move mountains if you wanted to, place a goddamn hill in your living room if you chose. You can transcend time and space. Don’t squeeze your five dimensional self into a one dimensional shadow of yourself. Now that’s a freak of nature.

I’m tired of you thinking you can bully me on the road because I’m a female driver. I’m no different. Put my life in danger, and I will scream every profanity I know on you. And you will shut up, take it all in and apologize. I’m tired that there’s a stereotype of “Women drivers” [said with a frustrated or irritated shake of your head].

I’m tired of the TV tropes. I’m tired of being the one that stays at home and worries about the safety of my man as he goes out to discover the universe or conquer the bad guys or aliens or whatever. Can’t I help in the discovery and conquering too? 

I hope with all my heart that the hypocrisy institutionalized religion uses to suppress one side of humanity (womanhood) for the selfish self-aggrandizement of the other is recognized for what it is: a hypocrisy, a dangerous evil, a sheep in wolf’s clothing, a violation and opportunistic attempt to control the mind using the divinity of religion. 

I hope everyone all over the world comes to understand the reality that MISOGYNY IS A VIRUS. This virus will destroy humanity if we allow it to continue to fester in our thoughts and beliefs and in our actions. 

I hope these words will not be stereotyped, and thrown on infertile ground, wasted. I hope you read this with all senses of your humanity about you. I hope you understand that by living with the faulty notions of patriarchy and misogyny you hinder political, economic, social, spiritual growth of humanity. We are god-like beings. To hinder another from their total potential is an unforgivable crime to ourselves.

I hope we learn to unlearn the lies we have been taught. 

I hope you understand that woman is man and man is woman and together we make a powerful creation: Humanity.

A wise person once said, “Love your neighbor as yourself”. I think that sums up everything nicely!

Happy International Women’s Day! Make it Happen!

2015 AFRICA READING CHALLENGE: MY BOOKS!

This is going to be my first time participating!

The challenge is to read 5 books between 1st January 2015 and December 31st 2015. Eligible books include those which are written by African writers, or take place in Africa, or are concerned with Africans and with historical and contemporary African issues.


Here's my list:

God's Bits of Wood -   Sembene Ousmane
The Wretched of the Earth - Cheik Anta Diop (or any other Cheik Anta Diop book)
A Question of power - Bessie Head
One Day I will Write About this Place - Binyavanga Wainana
The Gonjon Pin and other stories
Tail of the Blue Bird - Nii Ayikwei Parkes

I would also want to re-read Achebe's Anthills of the Savannah, and A Man of the People.

I've started on The Gonjon Pin and other stories! Will post my experiences with each book on the way!

For more information, check out Kinna's blog here: 2015 Africa Reading Challenge

And pshare with me what books you're reading in the comments section below.

Edem - Meeting one of Ghana's Conscious Rappers

I absolutely love Edem!

Edem's music is one that's proud of being African. He started out as 'the Ewe rapper' or 'Ayigbe Edem' when he hit it big in between 2006 and 2008. The amazing thing about his prolificity is if you were not Ewe, or you did not understand his Ewe rap,  his charisma and power is diffused through the music. He spoke the powerful language of music and we heard and understood. In 2014, Edem's latest Abulm, Books N' Rhymes is a testament to the versatility of his talent. Edem explores with his art and his rap is not simply how we have known it to be previously. He pushes the boundaries to establish a new sound in every song on the album. It's a mix of hiphop, reggae, House, dancehall, etc.

Despite being in an industry that glorifies the commercial, shallow and fleeting, Edem does not bend to the pressure. He remains a conscious rapper passionate about Africa, passionate about sharing with the rest of Africa and changing the narrative through his art. While other musicians may make music for just Ghana and for just a moment in time, He makes music for Africa and beyond, and strives to make it timeless.

His latest album, 'Books N' Rhymes', is out! It's a definite must-have!

ABOUT BOOKS N' RHYMES
"We created an album that will change the industry that will make people want to rethink their creative process"~ Edem on 30Minitz

"Books and Rhymes are the basis of human's life. Books are what takes us through life, takes us to the greatest of places, gives us power and knowledge; and rhymes are the basis of our childhood where you are taught to learn 'twinkle, twinkle little star', etc to be able to speak properly. So I thought it would be creative for me to use this album to gravitate the African continent towards schooling themselves. I rap more in Ewé because I need to sell the sub-region where I am coming from even though it is very difficult to do it because you have to kick away the stigma of people saying it cannot stand the test of time and you have to do it so well from a marketing perspective." ~ Edem on BBC.


Check out my interview with Edem on 30Minitz! In this, Edem speaks about his hit tracks, 'Only in Ghana,' his humorous documentation of Ghanian quirkies, and 'The One' which dares to reference Ghana's slave history. 

Were you at the Gird Writing Camp for Creative Writing? It was superb, wasn't it?!

The Gird Writing Camp for Creative Writing took place last week Saturday and for all writers who showed up, it was an amazing experience!

Moderated by Dr. Mawuli Adzei and Prof. Ama Ata Aidoo, writers had a lively discussion about writing, their work and a few writing deadlines under their belts.

It began with writing exercises conducted by Billie McTernan, where writers learnt to write freely without the hindrance of thinking too much (guilty on all accounts!).

Participants tackling some writing exercises

Moderators, Prof. Ama Ata Aidoo & Dr. Mawuli Adzei

 Dr. Mawuli Adzei took over, commencing with the art of Fiction, tackling the topics such as: How to get started, Developing Creative Ideas, writing style, language and the use of Ghanaianisms. The discussion was later driven towards the contentious issue of writing for the Writer or writing for the Reader, and in Dr. Mawuli Adzei’s apt words, it was agreed that, ‘Writers, just write. Do not inhibit your self thinking of the reader. Your role is as the story teller”.

Prof. Ama Ata Aidoo took over the next session, and she began wonderfully by reading her latest piece, ‘GraviSearch’- a rumination of the origin of the names of certain Ghanaian foods, which became a philosophical contemplation of Africa and its diaspora, Africa and its passive yet turbulent relationship with the West. 

An extensive Q & A session followed where the participants traversed topics such as the challenges of publishing, Ama Ata Aidoo’s writing style, her influences, her choice of topics and so much more.

The camp's final session was on non-fiction, moderated by Dr. Mawuli Adzei.The styles and choices of autobiographies were examined, as well as the style, tone, mood of essays were also discussed.

Up next in the Gird Writing Camp is the Academic Writing Module of the Gird Writing Camp which is set to take place this Saturday, October 25 at the Goethe Institute, in Accra. 

Prof. Ama Ata Aidoo, Dr. Mawuli Adzei and participants

 

With four (4) days more to the start of the Academic Writing Module of the camp which supports students and researchers, with their academic projects and research work, the camp promises to increase participants’ knowledge and propel them to impact meaningfully in academia. 

Prof. Helen Yitah, a Scholar and the Head of the Department of English who is currently leading the research team for the Nation and Narration project and Dr. Kweku Ainuson, a Lawyer and a Lecturer who has worked on an admissions board, supervised graduate thesis and currently is a reviewer for 3 academic journals will be teaching the Academic Writing Module of the camp.

They will address a range of topics including types and forms of academic writing, how to write effective summaries, personal statements, journal articles, grant applications, thesis and proposals. The class admits up to 20 participants only.

You can register online by clicking here We are currrently running a discount promotion. If you're interested in getting a discount to attend the camp, please call or text 020152656 or 0263144621. If you would like to offer some form of sponsorship so we can further subsidize the cost for students, please call:  020152656 or 0263144621 or email: info@girdcenter.org.